Entering a different time zone ,after striding a kilometer or so inside a tunnel of pre-existing spaceship that belonged to an outer space of a famous hollywood creation ….Gaza welcomes me with some vague memories of a time i don't know if they have ever exist .
A city of a strange existing … people weirdly moving in all directions and no directions in what should be called roads ..i am not sure if i am in this day on this date of this century , or is it a day and date of previous decades in another century that history has dwelled .
Donkeys visibly taking the streets , in which seems a major mean of transportation . another funny tuktoks as they call , some small motorbikes attached with trolleys . A challenging competition between the donkeys and the trolly attached motorbikes all over the city . Cars i remember back to my memory of Gaza as a child visiting with my father and family … at some
point i saw infront of me the memory of a fading past so visible.. it was so confusing .. except that i grew since then thirty years .
the thirty years of the older woman i became from that child back then , could have added to me some maturity and beauty that evolves by age …. something that in this part of the world women don't grow to become more beautiful , but exhausted and drained from life burdens and frustrations and above all patriarchal system abuses that made them overgrow their age and their beauty. This city seemed like a woman i wanted to escape from becoming some years ago .
Women walking veiled , young women carrying infants in this rainy day , a scene that so remarkable to see .. i was noticing a woman out of every three walking with an infant cuddled in her arms . Posters of martyrs occasionally decorating the streets with green flags , slogans on every wall and empty space …except on some walls that belonged to the "police street" . Mosques built in different colored domes ,some unmodified architecture that reminded me of Afghanistan .
a gracious sea standing so powerful and grey , with high waves and angry moves ,attached to a mixed grayish sky . another long scene of a fantasized memory of a sea that can embrace a lover's dream ,and yet , it was a deserted beach with haunted memories of an exiled nation , hanged from both sides in refugee camps with steel sheds and mud structure. watching carefully from the top of the other side of the scene , refusing and agitating any form of acceptance to a normal sea .
after touring the city …..long and mixed with destroyed plantations and obscure rubbles … of huge buildings that have been marked with bomb shots and sheds. strange meaning of survival ….movements unharmonized and so often meaningless and definitely hopeless inside an encircled city that spins around itself …i found myself again crossing the twilight zone through the open passage that is wired by steel and enclaved by a cement wall … cockroaches speeding and crushed by unnoticing eyes … all desperately moving that passage of de-existence … entering inside a series censored boxes and steeled doors , buzzing in red and green , scanned by machines and monitored by some observers from a higher floor through a distance ….
the most vulnerable and yet the most unconquerable of things is human vanity:nay,through being wounded its strength increases and can grow to giant proportions.
Human All Too human,
Nietszche
